Beth Salerno

Living “In Between”

April 24, 2008 Author: Beth Salerno

 One day last week, I sent two emails one right after the other.  The first was to students at Saint Anselm College about their research in the fall.  The second was to students at Pyeongtaek University about their midterm this week.  Yesterday I received two emails, one right after the other. The first asked, “Could you give a talk in Busan South Korea on May 13^th?”  The second asked, “Could you give a talk in Manchester NH on July 13^th?” 

We all live in both the present and the future.  Some of us, particularly historians, also spend a lot of time in the past.  I feel like all my time right now is spent “in between”. 

Anyone who lives abroad with the intention of coming home lives in this “in between” space.  You keep up friendships, professional connections, and sometimes a place to live in two different countries.  You speak two languages.  You negotiate the little things that constantly remind you that you have a dual life. 

Last night  I was dead tired and just wanted to watch one quick episode of the Muppet show on DVD before bed.  But the previous DVD I had watched was Korean.  So the computer had to reset my DVD player from Zone 3 (Korea) to Zone 1 (USA).  If you do this more than 4 times your DVD locks forever in a certain zone.  Since I wanted to be sure to be locked into Zone 1 (my permanent residence) I had to count the number of times I’d done this.  It was a lot for a very tired brain to handle (though watching Dr. Teeth and the Electric Slide sing New York State of Mind was worth it.)

Last week I uploaded an Itunes gift card to my account and thought about buying music.  It turns out you cannot buy music from Itunes if you have a Korean internet provider.  This was also true when I tried to upgrade my spyware program.  There is no way to tell the unyielding computer screen, “But I’m American.  I have an American credit card.  I’m not Korean!”

I recognize that I have made this “in between” feeling worse by spending so much time really trying to understand and live within Korean culture.  Some people adapt by simply never leaving the “ex pat bubble” of speaking English, eating American food, and hanging out with Americans.  I didn’t want that.  Over time, moving back and forth from Korean to American customs (and language) has become much easier and has been totally worth it.  But with only two months left here in Korea, I find the balance shifting.  While I am still learning about Korea, I find myself missing home (and having to deal with home) more and more.

Many scholars have spent their lives studying “liminal” spaces - spaces in between one thing and another.  They claim they are some of the most productive and interesting places in the world - biologically, intellectually, politically.  For me, living in the borderland between America and Korea, between where I am and where I was and will be, has been remarkably productive.   It is also increasingly unsettling. 

[I do not have recent pictures of my in between space.  These are of an in betweeen time, the pink and white full spring between bare trees and green ones.]

Entry Filed under: living abroad